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LITERATURE: The Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer


Twilight Twilight. What to say about you.

Well, I guess I'll start this first post out by being blunt. I didn't want to like Twilight. I really didn't. I didn't want to insert myself into the mainstream flock of gaping, pubescent girls. Sorry if it sounds crass or shallow or something, but it's true. Indeed, a friend (Alex) and I spent all of the movie snickering snidely to one another about the cheese that oozed out of each and every word while another friend (Susan), a true Twilighter, pretended that she didn't know us.

And let me tell you something else. The crowd in that theatre was INTENSE. Just...nuts. You could hear a pin drop. And it's one thing to gape at Edward Cullen-because he is pretty gorgeous, don't get me wrong-but quite another, I think, to gasp breathlessly when he and Bella are staring sleepily at each other. And yet, these people did both. They were SO involved in the plot of that vampiric world that what should have been incredibly cheesy and ridiculous came off as intriguing and romantic.

NOW. It was only after seeing the movie that I was intrigued. I'd picked the first book up in a Barnes and Noble at some point, gave the first few pages a once-over, and put it down. There was nothing breathtaking in the writing-certainly not in the first-and I wasn't nearly invested enough in the plot to keep going. And don't think it was because this wasn't my kind of book. Au contraire, mon frere. I love sci-fi, I like romance, I'm a huge fan of children's and YA even though I don't fit into those categories anymore, and, moreover, I like series books (Hello, Harry Potter! How are you doing, love?) SO, all in all, the book had a very fighting chance that never came to fruition.

HOWEVER. When I did finally pick it up-albeit months after the movie and only by coincidence since I saw it in the library when I was looking for a quick beach read-I found that it was perfectly suited for the "mindless entertainment" purpose. Don't think I'm knocking it. Not at all. There's a time and place for every book, and Twilight, I think, is the kind of series you want to read when you're lounging on vacation: easy to get into, fairly straightforward plot, fast-paced, easy to pick up in the middle, etc etc. It isn't something you have to wrap your head around-not particularly philosophical. Perhaps most important for the beach, a quick read.

NOW. Towards the second half of the first, I kept waiting for it to be over. I think Meyer may have overdone it a bit; the second half didn't flow as naturally or as quickly as the first, though I don't have too many bones to pick. She left the end open and intriguing enough that I made a friend that'd read them all talk me through the plots of the next three.

Which brings me to New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.

When my friend Jessalyn described them to me, I kept wondering the same thing I wondered throughout the first one. When are they gunna have sex already?

Don't get the wrong idea. I was fascinated by all the vampire lore Meyer put in there, but everything paled in comparison to Edward. The parts I wanted to skip ahead to all involved him; Bella, the main character and narrator, didn't seem as compelling to me, which made it hard to deal with so much literary blueballing.

Jessalyn (WARNING, SPOILER) told me that they finally do the deed in the last book, and described what happens in the two books inbetween. It all sounded well and good out loud, in a two minute summary. Great. Fast-paced. Interesting.

NOT so interesting, however, when what could be summed up quickly gets spread over two books and about 1200 pages. Really, Stephenie? Like Bella, I found myself just waiting for the most compelling and interesting character (Edward) to come the hell back. It didn't work so well for me. I wish it'd been condensed into just one book, since, essentially, the major conflict is the same across the two (Bella's juggling two potential lovers-Jacob and Edward-, and running from the same bitchy vamp-Victoria-in both. Oy. New plotline, much?) Moreover, I could definitely have done without the Romeo and Juliet / Wuthering Heights references unless she really established Bella as a lit chic. Instead, she seems so preoccupied with Edward and down about her ability (and desire) to get into a decent college that she basically throws it all away. Meyer even implies, at some point, that the only reason Bella got into Dartmouth is because Edward paid. Oy. What kind of example are you setting for girls? By the time the fourth book rolls around, Edward doesn't even refute the half-joke...Not that cool, considering most of your readers are teenage girls getting ready for college.

Now they're all going to try and go off and find a rich vampire husband instead of applying to Harvard and Yale. What are you doing, man?

IN ANY CASE, THE SAVING GRACE, for me, was book four, Breaking Dawn. TONS of action. TONS of getting action (if you know what I mean). Super quick development of plots. An interesting new twist when Jacob's voice takes on the middle half. It was a brilliant culmination and extrapolation of all the lore (vampire and werewolf) and all the sexual / emotional relationship development that actually matters, as opposed to the things Bella cooks Charlie for dinner, which don't, but which feature prominently through 2 and 3, since there's nothing else left to focus on.

All in all, I have to give Meyer props for coming up with an intriguing story that was gripping and that, by the end, though it felt a little too "xmen" or "superhero," what with the focus on special powers and all, was compelling enough to make me trudge through over 2000 pages of saga. It was a little preachy for my taste at times, but I think that kind of thing is hard to break for an author with as religious a background as Meyer, and it didn't get in the way too much, so that was all right. Overall, not the most heartbreaking, lifechanging work ever, but certainly not to be overlooked from the perspective of a fast-paced, heart-thumping read.

FINAL VERDICT:

I'd read 1 and 4, but skip 2 and 3. Just Wikipedia that shit, and you're good to go.

** and 1/2 stars out of 5
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Hello, Lover.

I like stuff.

And talking about stuff.

And being intelligent and methodical in my reasoning for saying said things about said stuff.

Here are my thoughts.

Please enjoy!
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